So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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