Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize