What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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