I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize