Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
