I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
