On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
