The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
