I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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