I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
