that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
