i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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