The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
