OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
