I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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