Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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