he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
