Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
