margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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