I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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