Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
