i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
