everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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