I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
