Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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