HIV tests are more positive than that guy
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Mom said you looked used
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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