I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
