Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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