How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
