dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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