why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
