come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
