My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
