Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
