Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You were trust falling into bushes
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
