My friends, they love my intelligence
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
