you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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