what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
