trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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