He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you would pick up someone in the library
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
