Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
