his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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