I'm laying in your front yard are you home
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i've created a new STD.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize