8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
