Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
