Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
