Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
