Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
