He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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