But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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