oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
