I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
