I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
