She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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