Where did you get a picture of my penis
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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