You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
