This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
