Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
