just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
