It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
